aduckcandie's Xanga

The good thing about Tinsley...

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 20:52:48 GMT

is that he can move even ME to post on my own blog.
Yes, I know you missed me.
Here's the text of today's attempt at biting socio-political satire:
"In an attempt to improve its oppobrious public image, "The Association of Trial Lawyers of America" has voted to change its name to "The American Association for Justice"...In other news, Hezbollah has reportedly changed its name to 'The Rotary Club'...the mako shark now prefers to be called "the cuddly sea-bunny" and gingivitis has changed its name to "bob".
It's Tinsley Humor Pattern 3: If A gets a new name, B gets a new name. Hah. Hah. Hah.

Funny thing, though.
The Association of Trial Lawyers of America ISN'T changing its name. At least their own website doesn't mention such a change. see atla.org for confirmation.
This is a typical Tinsley (and neo-con, for that matter) tactic: falselyclaim something is happening and then react to it. Test scores, gay teachers, illegal aliens. Tinsley does this and people who don't read the news except for the funnies (ironic, isn't it? calling Tinsley 'funny'?) see this and say, oh freakin lawyers.
ATLA's motto is "Balancing The Scales Of Justice".
Crap. No wonder Tinsley hates them.
anyways: go see my heroes at shrubville.com

okay, so I've been busy!

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 19:58:30 GMT

helped friends move to Utah, finished the intro to my MA Thesis, yadda etc.
Today's strip is a charming examination of the difference between
those who see the world as black and white

and

those who see the world as shades of gray.

What's ironic about this is that on the front page of the L.A. Times comics section is a Doonesbury strip. The strip takes place at one of W's press conferences. A reporter says, "Sir, I've noticed that whenever you frame a debate, it always contains false choices. After 9/11, it was 'are you with us or against us?'"

The neo-conservative does not do well, I have observed

(shit! I could stop the sentence right there!)

-with conditional/contextual thinking.

(ha, there it is.)

Yet, they are willing to create contexts and will defend them to the death (of someone else or someone else's kid). Case in point: I was just in Utah. Utah's courts just ruled that exotic dancers have to wear pasties and thongs when on stage. An editorial in one of the SLC papers said 'isn't it a shame that all of this kind of dancing could be banned'.

Uh-uh.
Freedom of the marketplace, jerk. If 'American Bush'
has customers willing to pay, how can a good neo-con say that's a bad thing? I tried to do research, btw, but the driver of the car was complete and utter wuss [his wife was in the car, 'nuff said].

or, as in today's 'Prickly City' strip, where Representative Nancy Pelosi was insulted for her appearance, with jokes about Botox use. Scott Stantis, the author, is obviously following Our Boy Tinsley by leaving out the comedy to save money. But can't they see that it's wrong to attack Nancy for the face she was born with and NOT talk about Katherine Harris and her two new safety cushions?

anyways, check at http://www.shrubville.com/. The author's my new hero!

How many times has Bruce watched the films 'The Warriors' and 'Colors'?

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 09:34:20 GMT

It's after three a.m. Frankly, I've been up too long. I have learned that there can be a Bloody Mary that is too spicy for even me.
But I have a responsibility, dammit.
When Bruce says something stupid, I have to declare it from the rooftops.

The strip begins with "Our story continues".
The caveguy (the symbol for native-born American citizens...or Bruce) says to the illegal-alien symbol "But, people from other tribes wait for years to join ours! However, because you sneaked in and are already here, we should just automatically make you a member?"

The illegal alien symbol says "Exactly! Because I'm different from those other people."

Bruce-symbol sez "How?"

Illegal guy: 'Because I want to move here while keeping my old language, culture and primary allegiance to my old tribe."

sorry. I call bullshit. Let's examine that last sentence:

LANGUAGE
Bruce - let's say it's the Bruce from last time we played as cavemen- has, hypothetically, moved to a new country where he can triple his income. They speak a new language. Speaking the language above a certain level has no real effect on your earnings. How many hours does Bruce (hypothetical Bruce) spend studying Urdu? Remember, Bruce has worked long hours to make money to send home to his family. How many hours?

CULTURE
Won't argue with that. We are everywhere! You should hear a Filipino band rock out with a Zep tune!

PRIMARY ALLEGIANCE

These are the first two military deaths I saw in today's L A Times:

Marine Cpl. Michael Estrella, 20, Hemet; Sniper Victim Was 2,500th U.S. Military Death in Iraq

Army Cpl. Luis D. Santos, 20, Rialto; Killed by a Roadside Bomb

'estrella' means 'star' in Spanish.
'santos' means 'saints'.

Can anyone tell what 'Tinsley' means? Where is it from?
How did the Tinsleys get here? Did they fly here in a blimp? Swim here? Steerage class on some crap steamship (like my own Italian forebears)?

How many Tinsleys have died in wars?

What does 'Tinsley' mean? What does it stand for?

P.S. got so wrung-out on Bruce's heritage, I almost forgot the kicker. The illegal caveman asks for "some capital to start a gang".

Bruce Tinsley, gang authority. Indiana must be a hot-bed of crime.
Is there anything the man doesn't know?

and who can argue with that???

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:32:09 GMT

last week's Sunday strip was a one-framer. A bloated American family is stocking up for the 4th of July holiday and the bloated Dad is asking his kids if they've forgotten anything at the store...and over-looking all of this is a picture of a Valley Forge Minuteman, smirking wearily at our new-fangled technology.
I dig.
I mean, how can ya argue with it? Folks should remember the past suffering of thise who gave all. Totally.

However...I just thought of this...what would you say about a husband who hates his boss, can't hit his boss- so he goes home and beats his wife?
Sh)tty, right? The lowest.

Now, see it this way:
Husband = Bush White House
Boss = Real Terrorist Forces
Wife = Iraq

and you say, aw, that's too facile, too superficial.
Give it some thought.

2 weeks of stupid in one

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:19:23 GMT

and I wanna apologize. Grades. Cleaning out my classroom. Teaching is NOT the way neo-cons say it is, where we just sit around and drink vodka and hate kids.
In last week's episode, a consumer was complaining about the high price of gas, and Tinsley somehow segued into...an indictment of baseball fans paying to see steroid-dependent galoots.
Seriously.
Once again, Bruce has left out the humor for extra savings. Is he trying to say that if we're not going to regulate steroids in sports, we shouldn't regulate gas prices? But we voluntarily pay for tickets to sporting events; if the price is too high, we can opt out. Gas prices are a stickier topic:
if you have a car, you're kinda stuck.
baseball ticket prices are not connected to politics or anti-Semitism in the Middle East.
I could go on and on. I suggest you do so.

This week's funny, FUNNY strip is about illegal immigration.

Bruce (that's really him!)is a caveman who comes home to find a stranger in his cave. Tommy Chong pays the intruder:

As I always say: tough questions don't worry me, it's the simplified answers that freak me out.
Yes, Illegal Immigration is a problem. People come across the border and use our services. However, they also come to work. An undocumented worker can make five to ten times what he or she could make at home.

Quick Question (QQ):
If Bruce were offered 10 times his present salary (and remember, this is a man with two kids and a lust for books), would he switch?

As long as the work is here, people will come here. IF you made hiring undocumented workers expensive for the companies that hire them, or if you did away with the gap in earnings, the problem would go away. No fence. No walls. That's a mature solution.
Building a wall, however, will make it tougher for some undoc'd workers to get here. The majority of undoc'd workers, however, don't walk across the desert; they come on visas and stay or they come for a visit and stay or they drive across. A shortage of 'informal' undoc'd workers will hurt smaller companies, companies like Tyson Poultry already have recruiters and routes to get their illegal workforce (read 'Fast Food Nation' if you doubt me).
Problem: enforcing laws costs money. Designing and switching-out tamper-proof work documents costs money. This administration; not so good with the money. For themselves? They do just fine; Custer Battles, Halliburton, etc.

oh. hey. here's something awful.

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 02:52:51 GMT

Like I said, I skipped last week's 'comic strip' (comic would imply a joke, right?) due to its...lack of topicality.
I realize that accusing this strip of misguided focus is like accusing McDonalds of being fattening.
So, I found this gem:this
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard051506.asp

Guy:
The obvious answer to the gasoline crisis was my bill to raise gas taxes.

Matt Drudge in duck outfit:
Congressman Veneer, wasn't that also your answer to the education crisis, the obesity crisis and the male pattern baldness crisis?

Guy:
That one was incremental, phased over five years.

Bah-dump bump!

Okay, overlooking the lack of a punchline...
Let's talk about gas.
My boys (I spek of our naive-but-honest Dem legislators) did not propose a $100 government check to pay for corporate greed.
Do you realize what that woulda meant, btw? It woulda meant that the US GOVERNMENT would have finally revealed what this administration has been trying to do: create a corporate wing of our leadership.
This goes against everything this country stands for.

Now, let's talk about taxes.
Big Dog left? Surplus.
aWol in? Deficit.
and I know, 9/11, yes, it's true.
We should never forget...but isn't the mark of a great country its ability to overcome tragedy? Japan got over the nuclear bomb (2 of them!), Canada got over Celine Dion, Indiana got over...bad example.

TAXES ARE THE DUES YOU PAY FOR LIVING IN AN ADVANCED SOCIETY. YOU DON'T WANT TO PAY THEM? STAY OFF THE HIGHWAY, DON'T USE THE PHONE, DON'T WATCH T.V. AND NEVER, EVER COMPLAIN.

skipped a week. didja miss me?

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 02:16:19 GMT

Well, I'm back. Last week's 'cartoon' wasn't very controversial, something about stars and constellations…fantastic, Bruce! In cases like this, I have decided, it'll be fair game for me to go RANDOMLY into the archive and choose AT RANDOM a recent weekday cartoon. I think that's fair. I'm here to address Tinsley's political misinformation, not his artwork or talent.
In these areas, my opinion, as always, is:
Hey; he gets paid for it, right?

Today's (June 11th) effort concerns the limits on free speech on U.S. college campuses, and gosh darn it, Bruce is…kinda right.
There are professors who go overboard in pushing a certain political agenda. I am a graduate of Cal State L.A. and I've had profs from both sides of the spectrum. Most professors, however, are of a progressive bent. Here's why:
A person does not get into education to get rich. A person gets into education because he or she cares about people. Caring for, sharing info with and nurturing people. That's why I am a teacher.
The goal of the conservative agenda is smaller government. Smaller government = smaller schools. Smaller schools = fewer teachers. This is why one finds a higher percentage of progressives in teaching than in sales. There are still conservatives in teaching, but it's kind of like being a lobster in a tank and wearing a sign around your neck saying "I'd be delicious with grilled butter and a nice Pinot Grigio".
Freedom of speech on campus needs to be protected! Nuff said.
However, Bruce can't just leave it alone. The pesky URL demon has added thefire.org and campusrights.org to the last panel. The first one is great, had a lot of good info…the second doesn't work. If you check Google, it leads to the University of Ruhuna (nice shot of the Chancellor here: http://www.ruh.ac.lk/picttour/campus/images/10.html).
The University of Ruhuna, btw, looks like a blast!
There's also a link to Clarion U., with a link: http://www.cubackslash.com/node/91?PHPSESSID=46d2bc919c6ad0c0d54a28c14626c774
Which deals with the NSA spying on phone calls.
Bruce:
There are maybe…100?
Let's say 200 cases of liberal professors stomping on the freedom to express conservative opinions in class. Let's forget about Campus Republicans, the Yellow Elephant campaign to sign up CR kids in our armed forces, CR campaigns to intimidate professors by taping lectures.
10 million Americans have had their telephones monitored. Maybe just what numbers they called, maybe just the patterns of calls. Maybe the whole call is recorded, we don't know. What we do know, and this is a fact: whoever approved this committed a crime.

Bruce-Math:
200 CR kids > 10 million Americans' privacy and upholding the law.

The deeper you go, the hotter it gets.

Sun, 28 May 2006 18:54:13 GMT

wow.
so, here's the official archive of MF. It's just...
there's so much...'malarkey'. I see three weeks of huffing and puffing about isolated incidents of "patriotic clothing" being banned at some schools, and he just goes on and on and on.
First, as I said, the principal who did this is probably going to be fired (even though she was in a tough situation where students were using t-shirts and flags to "taunt" each other) (maybe Bruce likes race riots?)
but it encourages readers to go to townhall.com and find out the truth

Ann Coulter is at townhall.com
Ann Coulter and truth in the same room? I think not. As she said at the beginning of the debate with Al Franken she was a deeply flawed human being (and Franken shone, see here) and lets not forget this where Ann said

Coulter said it in a sentence: “I want to be the right-wing ayatollah.”

and MF tells people to go there...
Flaws in the logic:
townhall admits it's a partisan site. I won't ever send you to MYdd.com or americablog.com. They are partisan, great but partisan. Why won't Bruce send folks to CNN about this story?
because CNN didn't think too much of it; a principal made a mistake and she'll pay for it.

Bruce: the guy at Subway sneezed on my salad:
I got upset for a day.
Denver principal tries to stop a gang war.
three weeks-plus of quacking?!?!?!

Media Matters had this. I trust them, they don't just give the name of a newspaper and run away. In part, it says:

On the April 5 edition of CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight, host Dobbs falsely suggested that a Westminster, Colorado, middle school's ban on flags -- in the wake of protests at the school over proposed immigration reform legislation -- applied only to the American flag. In fact, the ban -- criticized by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) -- encompassed clothing depicting all flags and other "patriotic" symbols, and was not limited to American flags. Further, Dobbs reported that the principal of the school "says students wearing the American flag are using the flag to antagonize Mexican students." In fact, Shaw Heights Middle School principal Myla Shepherd instituted a ban on any clothing, flag, and banners intended to make a political statement, because, she told The Denver Post, students at the school were using both American and Mexican flags to "taunt" each other. "The Mexican flag, the U.S. flag, were no longer representing pride in where we're from," Shepherd told the newspaper, "but started to be used as symbols of negativity and racism."

If you had been the principal, what would you have done?

anyways, I won't be poking around the archive. It's just too random. If you find a totally offensive strip, please let me know. Maybe Bruce will comment.
Why not let Bruce know about this fun little site? mallardmail@yahoo.com

Why I'm doing this

Sun, 28 May 2006 17:06:22 GMT

Xanga

For about two years, I've had some issues with Bruce Tinsley's comic strip, 'Mallard Fillmore' (henceforth, 'MF'). Why? I don't like or trust the present Administration that is ruining this country. Bruce seems to love them. He even exhorted his readers, perhaps considering joining the reality-based community, to 'Dance with the one what brung ya'.
Great Scot.
Even real Southerners don't talk that way.
Anyways, we had a lively correspondence...which consisted of me politely e-mailing Bruce after reading his strip every week and pointing out its errors in both fact and tone (hey, at least he doesn't draw Jon Stewart with a big ol' hooked nose anymore, eh?). He responded once to a missive about public school reading scores, thus:

My wife and I both loved a Wrinkle in Time when we were kids, and my wife went on to read her other books-- A Wind in the Door, Many Waters, etc. Right now, we are reading A Wind in the Door, after finishing Wrinkle, with our kids-- our son is eight and our daughter is six. My wife also loves L'Engle books for adults-- non fiction, I think. I love CS Lewis, both fiction and non-fiction. Right now I'm reading God in the Dock.

Bruce

which is, of course, just what I'd expect from a neo-con CARTOONIST - polite, inoffensive and totally avoiding the point.
This is what I sent after Dick Cheney's not-at-all-drunken-or-illegal-'peppering' of his hunting partner:

Mr. Tinsley:
A week ago, a Bush administration official shot another man in the face and neck...while on a bird hunt.
You are the creator of a popular comic strip...about a bird.
This week?
Light verse about...grammar.
1. I must admit, when I first heard about the shooting (after saying a quick prayer for Mr. Whittington), I thought 'wow, Tinsley's gonna feast on this. He could indict the idea of HUNTING BIRDS FROM A CAR or so-called CANNED HUNTS or, gosh, the list goes on for quite a bit.
Where has gone the neoconservative fire in the belly? Where has the spirit gone which once said about our President, 'dance with the one what brung you'?
I admit, even Gary Trudeau (do you know his work? He has a strip about people) was kind of light-hearted this week, delving into a happy way for...an amputee Iraq veteran...to forget the nightmares of this war...
well, okay. Maybe it's not THAT light-hearted.

In any case, there's news out there...stuff is happening. Golly-gee, even Mr. Rumsfeld would have to agree.
Perhaps the Bush administration's proposed deal to give back seven billion dollars to the oil companies drilling on public lands.
Or the way the administration is still, STILL, after almost total rejection by the public, trying to quietly implement private retirement accounts to replace Social Security (and what do YOU think about the idea, Mr. Tinsley?)
or the fact that the operation of US ports is being handed over to a Saudi Arabian firm?

NExt week, Mr. Tinsley:
the perfidy of the umlaut?

and this, after the whole 'truthiness' debacle:

Brilliant!
It's clear that Americans WANT George W. Bush to continue staying the course.
Explain something to me, though.
How can I reconcile the following:

As President Bush continues his desperate campaign to sell his flawed Iraq strategy to the American public, a new CBS News poll finds that most Americans aren?t buying what President Bush is selling.

-with reality.
Is this an example of that whole 'truthiness' thing USA Today mentioned?

Linguists vote 'truthiness' word of 2005
ALBUQUERQUE (AP) ? A panel of linguists has decided the word that best reflects 2005 is "truthiness," defined as the quality of stating concepts one wishes or believes to be true, rather than the facts.
The American Dialect Society chose the word Friday after a runoff with terms related to Hurricane Katrina, such as "Katrinagate," the scandal erupting from the lack of planning for the monster hurricane.

Michael Adams, a professor at North Carolina State University who specializes in lexicology, said "truthiness" means "truthy, not facty."

"The national argument right now is, one, who's got the truth and, two, who's got the facts," he said. "Until we can manage to get the two of them back together again, we're not going make much progress."

Hey.
Make a joke about that whole 'truthiness' thing, willya?

Lately, I hafta say, our interaction has been less than helpful. I thought I'd start a new-fangled blog and help others examine Bruce's raison d'etre...a duck in a hat (shades of Drudge...does this make Mallard a confirmed bachelor?)

Today's strip was pretty serious and I have copied it in my own inimitable style:

pretty darn nice and respectful of our troops, whom I love so much I'd like them BACK HOME WHERE THEY BELONG INSTEAD OF DEFENDING OIL FIELDS FOR HALLIBURTON...but it was the asterisk that got me. The one in that first text box. It referred to 'denverpost.com' down amidst the flag's stripes.
So I looked and came up with this:
Now, while I understand both sides of the debate, it seems pretty clear what happened. A school administrator, trying to please too many people, made a misstep and banned American flags on clothing during a period of tension.
And she got her butt handed to her.
State Senate took away funds, Senators started yelling at each other...doesn't sound like a state-wide decision, sounds like someone screwed up and is gonna get fired or demoted. But wait. There's more.
She actually banned all clothing depicting all flags or national symbols. The flags, Mexican, American, whatever else, y'see, weren't being used for patriotic purposes. They were being used to start fights.
The principal had a choice: listen to townhall.com (ha!) or stop bloodshed and be a member of the thinking/reality-based group.
Will Bruce print a correction?
No (and I'll put $50 up, now, to be paid via Paypal to the conservative (but not racist) organization of the corrector's choice), I don't think he will.
Persecution (or the illusion of possible persecution) is integral to the mindset of these people. If we (hey, folks: proud and loud liberal here!) aren't taking the Bible away or turning kids gay by force, we're making them change shirts or give up their bullet-proof-vest-piercing bullets (hey, folks: proud and loud gun-owning liberal here- can anybody get me a good deal on an H&K .45 in matte black?)(but why would anybody need such bullets?)
Doonesbury's strip: a sober counting of all the brave men and women who have served our country and paid the ultimate price...at the end, it says "Continued Next Week". Can't fit all the names of the dead.
Bruce? He's got a duck.
Let's here it for the duck.
next week: come on back for more bad art, typos and the like.